The PATH: Perfection, Labels, and Worry
sent by J.W. Bertolotti | April 4, 2022
Welcome to The PATH — A weekly reflection with three timeless insights into daily life. This week’s reflection searches for ancient lessons on the wisdom of letting go. Specifically, the insights of — Perfection, Labels, and Worry.
1. Perfection
How comfortable are you with making mistakes? Does perfectionism ever creep into your work? A curious paradox is a need to let go of our notion of perfection to achieve true success in life.
In The Five Levels of Attachment, by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., he explains,
Of all the beliefs to detach from, this is the most important: Let go of the attachment that you must obtain some image of perfection to be happy.
In my interview with Karen Swallow Prior (author of On Reading Well), she explained, “There is an old saying that the best is the enemy of the good.” The virtue of prudence is practical wisdom on the ground and, by its very nature, goes against perfectionism. Striving for the best instead of doing something often prevents us from accomplishing anything.
An essay titled On Success by William Hazlitt suggested the surest hindrance to getting started is having too high a standard of refinement. The person determined not to be satisfied with anything short of perfection will never do anything.
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2. Labels
The perils of labels are far from a new concept. The theologian Henri Nouwen called the labels we give ourselves — the three big lies: “I am what I do. I am what I have. I am what other people say about me.”
Letting go of labels also shows up in Zen Buddhism. Shunryu Suzuki (author of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind) put it this way,
We “empty” ideas of big or small, good or bad from our experience, because the measurement that we use is usually based on the self. When we say good or bad, the scale is yourself. Each person has a scale that is different… How we empty that part is to practice zazen and become more accustomed to accepting things as it is without any idea of big or small, good or bad.
The insight of letting go of labels is not entirely straightforward. But if you examine the cause of your suffering, you will find them connected to labels. Theologian and psychologist Anthony de Mello explained in his classic Awareness: The Perils of Opportunity and Reality.
The important thing is to drop the labels. When someone says, “I am successful,” that’s an illusion. Success is not part of “I.” Success comes and goes, it could be here today and gone tomorrow. By identifying ourselves with the label, we cling to it, creating suffering.
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3. Worry
As humans, we are prone to worry. Although worry is an essential feature of survival — it is also a cause of undue suffering. In Every Time I Find the Meaning of Life, They Change It, author Daniel Klein reflects on this quote from the philosopher and psychologist William James,
If you believe that feeling bad or worrying long enough will change a past or future event, then you are residing on another planet with a different reality system.
According to Klein, James urges us to stop worrying since it has no good outcome or much of an outcome — other than wasted time. Although Klein agrees with James, “getting myself to stop worrying is another predicament altogether.”
How does worry show up in your life? Are you able to notice when it arises? How do you determine whether or not your worry is helpful?
Lao Tzu stressed, “If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” Similarly, the philosopher Montaigne observed, “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.”
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Thank you for reading; I hope you found something useful. If so, please consider sharing it with others.
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Image credit: Street Lafayette by Edvard Munch (1891, Public domain)
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