The PATH: On Change, Belonging, and Success

sent by J.W. Bertolotti | November 1, 2021

1. On Change

Nothing endures but change. — Heraclitus

We generally all realize that things change. But to what degree or how deep is our realization of change? The pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus said, “No one steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river, and they are not the same person.” When you wake up in the morning, are you seeing yourself with new eyes? How about friends, co-workers, or loved ones?

In an interview with Nic Bommarito, author of Seeing Clearly, explained aspects of reality we must confront and accept to live in accord with how the world works. In the chapter Nothing is Forever, Bommarito explains that the composite nature of things leads to some harsh truths: “people die, nations fall, and cookies crumble.”

The Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius wrote this in his journal — known as Meditations today,

Think often on the swiftness with which the things that exist and that are coming into existence are swept past us and carried out of sight. For all substance is as a river in ceaseless flow, its activities ever-changing and its causes subject to countless variations…

It is easy to forget that we are also part of that “ceaseless flow.” We all have an illusion of stability; we tend to see ourselves, others, and the world as more constant than reality demands. By contemplating often on the constant state of change can help us to live with wonder, curiosity, and openness.

How can you start seeing yourself, others, and the world with new eyes?

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2. On Belonging

We are because we belong. — Desmond Tutu

One of my favorite books this year has been You Belong by Sebene Selassie (a previous podcast guest). Selassie explains: “The truth is: we all have a 100 percent chance of dying. The only things human beings who breathe a breath have in common are birth, death, and belonging.”

Everyday life makes it easy to forget belonging. It requires deliberate practice to remember that you belong in every moment, to everything. “Our desire to belong is what makes us human precisely because feeling like we don’t belong opens us to belonging.”

The Zen Monk, Thich Nhat Hahn, illustrates it this way,

If you are a poet, you will see clearly that there is a cloud floating in this sheet of paper. Without a cloud, there will be no rain; without rain, the trees cannot grow: and without trees, we cannot make paper.

If we look into this sheet of paper even more deeply, we can see the sunshine in it. If the sunshine is not there, the forest cannot grow. In fact, nothing can grow. Even we cannot grow without sunshine. And so, we know that the sunshine is also in this sheet of paper…

When we look in this way we see that without all of these things, this sheet of paper cannot exist.

Throughout You Belong, Selassie uses many words to explain a simple paradox: Although we are not one, we are not separate. And although we are not separate, we are not the same. Selassie refers to the delusion of separation — the belief that we are separate from other people, other beings, and nature itself.

The reality is — “You are not separate. You never were. You never will be.”

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3. On Success

Have no fear of perfection, you’ll never reach it. — Salvador Dali

If there are any themes in the many interviews on In Search of Wisdom, one is the perils of perfectionism. One guest that comes to mind is Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of Your Turn: How to be an Adult.

Lythcott-Haims writes,

If this book’s quest is to beckon you into your adulthood, then we have to slay any monsters of childhood that are lingering at the door. Contemporary American parenting has an unhealthy attachment to the word perfect, and I’m not here for it. I’ll go so far as to say that, yes, that one word might have harmed you. You need to get rid of it. Let it go.

The wisdom of letting go of our traditional idea of success runs through many philosophical and spiritual traditions. In the classic Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind, author Shunryu Suzuki wrote: “Nothing we see or hear is perfect. But right there in the imperfection is perfect reality.”

Success is an illusion — if the notion connects to an image of perfection. True success is coming to this realization from Suzuki —“Each of you is perfect the way you are … and you can use a little improvement.”

How might the idea of being perfectly imperfect change your day-to-day life?

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Thank you for reading; I hope you found something useful. If so, please consider sharing it with others.

Each week, we send a short reflection with three insights to help you live your highest good. If you are not a subscriber to The PATH you can sign up here to receive it right to your inbox.

Image credit: Rémi Jacquaint on Unsplash

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