The PATH | Self-Reliance, Mistakes, and Being Misunderstood
sent by J.W. Bertolotti | Jun 6, 2022
Welcome to The PATH — A weekly reflection with three timeless insights into daily life.
1. Self-Reliance
Are you on the path to becoming who you truly are? Emerson believed, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
In his classic essay Self-Reliance, Emerson wrote,
Society everywhere is in conspiracy against…its members. Society is a joint-stock company, in which the members agree, for the better securing of his bread to each shareholder, to surrender the liberty and culture of the eater. The virtue in most request is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion.
Similarly, philosophers throughout history have warned against following crowds. Kierkegaard stressed, “A crowd in its very concept is the untruth, by reason of the fact it leaves the individual completely impenitent and irresponsible or at least weakens his sense of responsibility.”
My interview with Nate Anderson (author of In Emergency, Break Glass) revealed how the information age makes it more challenging. Anderson writes, “This is Nietzsche in a nutshell: the call to stop sitting in the shade, to stop being a spectator to one’s own life, to think, to speak, to live.”
In Self Reliance, Emerson concluded, “Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.”
——
2. Mistakes
How long should one cling to their past mistakes? According to Emerson, we should not waste a moment on yesterday's mistakes. Likewise, essayist Henry David Thoreau suggested we find our eternity in each moment.
In his Collected Poems, Emerson wrote,
Finish every day and be done with it.You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurditiesno doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on yesterdays.
Our past mistakes have very little to do with who we are today or will be tomorrow. The pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus said, “No one ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river, and they are not the same person.” The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be, stressed Emerson.
——
3. Being Misunderstood
Is there a part of you that no one truly understands? It seems universal that we all have parts of us that are unknown to others (and often ourselves). In my interview with Dr. Kelly Flanagan (author of True Companions) revealed, “There are parts of you no one will ever be able to understand.”
Dr. Flanagan explained,
Loneliness is one of the most misunderstood words in the English language, and it is one of the most misunderstood experiences in the human condition. Personally, I got married in part because I believed it would make me unlonely. It didn’t.
“As a couples therapist, I’ve discovered that loneliness never goes away for good, even in the most caring and connected companionship. You can’t eliminate your loneliness because you can’t eliminate your uniqueness,” writes Flanagan.
In Self-Reliance, Emerson explored being misunderstood,
Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradicts everything you said today. — ‘Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood.’ — Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.”
Although it’s important to note, we are not the only ones misunderstood. As the poet Goethe pointed out — we would not say very much in public if we realized how often we misunderstand others.
Image: Leopold Zborowski with a walking stick by Amedeo Modigliani (1917, Public domain)
——
Thank you for reading; I hope you found something useful. If so, please consider sharing it with others.
We send a short reflection each week with three insights to help you live your highest good. If you are not a subscriber to The PATH, you can sign up to receive it right in your inbox.
In Search of Wisdom
Click to Subscribe
Perennial Meditations
Click to Subscribe
