The PATH | Becoming, Responsibility, and Fulfillment

sent by J.W. Bertolotti | Jul 11, 2022

Welcome to The PATH — A weekly reflection with three timeless insights into daily life.

1. Becoming

The nineteenth-century philosopher Søren Kierkegaard once said, “The most common form of despair is not being who you are.” These types of quotes can be a little confusing while still feeling true. Existential thinkers like Kierkegaard believe that one has to fight to become authentic.

In the excellent new book How to Be Authentic, author Skye Cleary (an upcoming podcast guest) explores Simone de Beauvoir's philosophy of existentialism, authenticity, and the quest for fulfillment. Cleary writes,

French existential philosopher Simone de Beauvoir pointed to authenticity as a foundational element of the meaning of life. But she meant something very different by the idea than the familiar parade of platitudes about being true to a pure form of yourself. For Beauvoir, there is no fixed essence to our being, since we are always becoming something other than what we are today. For Beauvoir, “existence precedes essence,” meaning that we exist first and then spend the rest of our lives creating who we are (our essence).

Beauvoir's message is deeply inspiring. We do not discover ourselves; we make ourselves. “Creating ourselves is an art form — the act of intentionally choosing who we become,” observes Cleary.

2. Responsibility

Responsibility is a central tenet to becoming who you are. However, the need for responsibility is not unique to existentialists. Most wisdom traditions stress the importance of responsibility. St. Augustine of Hippo suggested, “God supplies the wind, but you have to raise the sails.” The Buddha advised, “We ourselves must walk the path.”

For Beauvoir, authenticity is integrally tied to taking responsibility for our lives, seizing control of our freedom, and enabling others’ freedom. In her classic book The Ethics of Ambiguity, Beauvoir wrote,

“To will freedom is to will the disclosure of being in the joy of existence; in order for the idea of liberation to have a concrete meaning, the joy of existence must be asserted in each one, at every instant…”

Beauvoir’s philosophy teaches us how to live and become authentic amid a complex and uncertain world. “Every moment contains possibilities for grasping our situation,” writes Cleary, “creating ourselves and connecting with others as authentic friends.”

3. Fulfillment

What is a fulfilled life actually mean? The Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky believed that human existence's mystery lies in staying alive and finding something to live for. For existentialists, authenticity, fulfillment, and meaning are tightly intertwined.

However, as Beauvoir points out, we have no fixed essence to our being — which means we are always becoming. Each moment (or choice) is an opportunity (or responsibility) to choose fulfillment. Or, as the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (and close friend of Beauvoir) put it, “We are our choices.”

In How to Be Authentic, Cleary writes,

Beauvoir suggested that authentic happiness is a particular kind of flourishing that comes from living in harmony in the world. Harmony does not mean quietism; it means embracing our freedom, taking responsibility for our lives, pursuing truth, and creating genuine connections to the world and others.

We are free and responsible for embarking on the quest to a fulfilled life. And Beauvoir insisted that we should not gamble on the future; we must act now, without delay. “To be oneself, simply oneself, is so amazing and utterly unique an experience that it’s hard to convince oneself so singular a thing happens to everybody,” wrote Beauvoir in her autobiography, Prime of Life.

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Thank you for reading; I hope you found something useful. If so, please consider sharing it with others.

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